Monthly Archives: May 2011

How to Make It Work With Narcissists!

OK, Friends, Aunt Alex has your back once again.

Now, is it or is it not the case that one of the more frustrating parts of dealing with narcissists is their complete and utter unreliability? Between their compulsive lying and their eagerness to shower the world (particularly your world) with their passive aggression, you can never count on these guys for anything — a promise, a task, plans for the evening, even a fair transaction. Well, Aunt Alex has the answer. You can get these things done, AND keep your narcissist!

See, the problem has been that you’re trying to work with JUST ONE GUY. There’s only so much one single emotionally crippled idiot can do. Are you following me, here? Yes — what you need is MORE NARCISSISTS. Say, about eight.

It’s brilliant. If you gather yourself about eight narcissists in your life, at any given time about four of them will be in jackass mode — either generally ignoring you and off flirting, or being enraged about something. Three will be in idiot mode, and will be completely misinterpreting everything out of your mouth, or “forgetting”, or “changing their mind”. And if you’re a math wizard like Aunt Alex, you’ll see that this leaves one of the eight who will be in “you” mode — sucking you in, grubbing for attention and praise and admiration. In other words, out of the eight, one will be available at any given moment for your needs.

So, the answer is to accumulate as many narcissists as possible into your life. When one lets you down at the moment, move down to the next one on your list. When they “break up” with you there’s no need to cross them off, because they’ll be back scrounging, lying and being an embarrassment soon enough; just skip over them. Eventually you’ll find one that will want to be your man of the hour, provided he thinks he’ll get tenfold in return.

What are you doing still sitting there? Go on out there and rustle up some more narcissists! Shoot for eight; more is better. To the cynical readers out there, I know what you’re thinking: You think Aunt Alex is just urging you to do this so you’ll keep even more narcissists occupied and help distract them away from the rest of us. Well, NO! I’m hurt! That’s not what this is about!

OK, yes it is. Thanks in advance.

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