10. After I feed it goodies, my cat curls up in my lap and purrs instead of going over to the neighbor’s house to ask HER for goodies.
9. My cat brings me gifts that he truly thinks I’ll enjoy, just because he loves me. Yes, I prefer his dead mole to a narcissist’s bottle of perfume that he got at the Dollar Store.
8. My cat might ignore me sometimes, but he doesn’t ignore me and then say he didn’t.
7. When he wants to stay out all night, my cat never tells me it’s my fault for being too needy.
6. I’ve never caught my cat flirting with someone and saying he doesn’t already have an owner with whom he lives.
5. A narcissist will tell you the relationship is on the rocks if he’s feeling a little bored. My cat just takes a nap.
4. Cats actually bond with people, their kittens, each other, and other species. My cat’s never faked an emotion a day in his life.
3. Ever seen a cat make an ass of himself by trying to talk about your feelings and why those feelings are wrong? Nope. Me either.
2. My cat hisses when he’s mad, instead of carrying on like an insane berserker on crack who makes about a much sense as a mumbling wombat.
And the Number One reason why my cat is better than a narcissist:
1. I’m SURE my cat has never, EVER tried on my underwear.