This Week’s Friday Five: Five Ways to Get Rid of an Uninvited Narcissist Visitor
1. Tell him he looks fat in those pants.
2. Ask him if the reason he’s here is because he’s already bored everyone else to death.
3. Ask him if he has the money he owes you.
4. Tell him you’re glad he’s here, because the elderly lady down the road needs her lawn mowed. Call her in front of him, and tell her he offered.
5. Never, ever underestimate the beauty of mace.